Sunday, December 28, 2008

My bad; plus, thoughts on being a dad

We went to a place in Cedar Rapids to see about signing up for lamaze classes and other stuff. The lady there was very encouraging and pointed us toward some more resources like doulas and another area midwife.

We went to CR because I lost the keys to the car and we missed our first appointment with our doctor in Waterloo. By the time I found the keys (in the snow by the car) it was too late to get there in time. I felt terrible about it, because we were going to get the first ultrasound and see our baby. So I called to reschedule (for early January), and it seems that we wouldn't have gotten an ultrasound at that appointment anyway, which was news to us. So I'm going to call back and make sure that we will have one at this next appointment, because we're not feeling a lot of communication here.

I'm kind of nervous about being a dad. I'm afraid that I won't be a good enough disciplinarian, that our kid will run wild and get into more trouble than s/he can handle (I mean in the course of childhood/adolescence - how much trouble can an infant get into?). I want to strike the right balance between being compassionate and strict. I know I'll love the kid. I just want my love to benefit him/her, not be a hindrance.

1 comment:

M said...

I think it's sort of awesome your main concern with parenting is the exact same one I've got! I don't get the obsession with the infant stage being so hard--to me it'd be all about striking the balance just right in adolescence, where your kid learns the value of delayed gratification/investment into something worthwhile, and that life involves doing things you don't always want to do so you can do what you want to do, etc etc...I've seen people spoil their teenagers and they turned out...eh. And I've seen people practically broken in two from the harshness their parents doled out. It's so scary to think the way you administer love and life lessons and everything is going to permanently build up a person!

Whoa, I didn't mean to add to the stress. But I totally get where you're coming from...and I know if you're thinking hard about it it's a good sign you know to do the right thing at the right time.

Blah blah blah empty sounding preachiness. Sorry! Didn't mean it that way.

But really, more importantly, I just wanted to say I AM SO EXCITED for you two!!!!! Congratulations. I've been smiling for days now whenever I think about it. And we've never even met! Funny huh?

<3