3:00 am I woke up, went to the bathroom and there was blood. I went to bed for an hour and contractions began. I woke up Bryce and had him count with me. At around 5 am, maybe, I called Brenda to tell her. She was excited and said “It’s your baby’s birthday!” I got excited as well. As the contractions continued to intensify Bryce hid easter eggs around the house with messages of hope in them from moms written during my blessingway ceremony. I also took a shower, tried to eat some breakfast, barfed, and done a lot of walking and prepping the space. At about noon my friend Trish came over. I was planning on doing all these cool things with friends (as they were available for labor projects, like cooking, knitting, singing, etc) but instead it was more like calm talking interrupted every five minutes or so by my intense breathing and counting my way through contractions. I remembered to breath slow and make low noises but I forgot about my horse lips and such to relax me. The counting became so mantra like that I would sometimes just start counting randomly. The counting was good to help me realize each contraction was almost done. At about 4:00 my mom came over with my sister, Amber. I had not invited my sister to the birth, but she just showed up and I although I was concerned at first, it ended up being a godsend. While I intended my mom to be this great support, I think she actually was a little traumatized by reliving the whole ordeal and was not as comfortable with my midwives, while my sister was just like I wanted my mom to be. The "you are almost there" and providing the great strength to lean on. Trish and I talked about birth and she left shortly before Brenda got here at around 5 pm or so for an event she had to attend. She said she would be back if we wanted her to come.
Brenda came when I asked her to come check my dilation. We had just been talking on the phone up until then. When she came it was drizzly with rain. She said she saw the biggest rainbow in the sky and Tirsh also said it was an eclipse night. I was very excited about the world outside and was hoping to see the eclipse that night. I was guessing after so many hours of rather patterned labor I was doing well, but I didn't want to upset myself so I guessed I was dilated to about a 4. When Brenda checked she said I was a 7-8. I only had 2 cm before I was fully dilated. I thought wow, this is going to be a great day to labor. Cat Steven's birthday, eclipse, uterus opening beautifully.
After the check I got naked and in the birth tub and tried relaxing and fully dilating. Moira and Karin (the other part of the home birth team) got here and started setting up. I was in the tub for a pretty long time. I thought I would like hands and knees and squatting and all these gravitational positions, but everything went out the door when I was in pain and all I wanted to do was sit on my butt. Lying down however was the most intense contractions and I did not like those. Before it got dark I was full dilated and ready to go, but tired. I pushed and pushed for a long time, on the birthing stool, standing, squatting, etc. Amber was the one holding my hands and reminding me to breath low. Bryce and Karin did the counting and the counter pressure on my back. Moira had me drink wheat grass for energy. After each contraction from the beginning I would burp. After the wheatgrass that is what I burped every time. It was awful.
All night long I kept pushing as midwives and family members took small breaks. I heard my midwife Moira (who was due 5 days later was having some contractions along with me). I was encouraged to sleep but I couldn't do that any better than I could keep any food down. When 3 o'clock in the morning came again I had been fully dilated for a long time. My midwives asked if they could break my water. They did with some difficulty. My placenta was super thick and mature. I was discouraged by the time. I started to go into this world where I forgot everything and could just see people moving around me (which I didn't realize until just looking at the pictures later and seeing how different the world actually looked that I was in it). It lasted until the end of my labor. I tried almost everything again, the tub, the stool, etc., but forgot my cds, my power figures, books, my quotes, etc. My whole body had been muscle shaking (shock) since about midway through labor and continued until I was done. The rippling water because of the shakes made me laugh. When the sun came up I had been pushing and fully dilated for over 12 hours so my midwives gave me some options 1. black and blue cohosh to intensify contractions or 2. pitocin to help my worn out uterus and fluid iv (thus hospital). We went with number one. Until 7 am and the contractions were absolutely killing me and Brenda informed me that my uterus, which had done an amazing job at opening so quickly had begun to stop contracting with me. I was pushing but uterus muscle was not. Then we had to go to option number two.
I was really mad at myself, but ready to be done so I just got in the van and rode. I pretty much was totally asleep in between contractions and pushing so hard during contractions, even with my pants on. When we got to the hospital Moira (with her big belly) quickly pushed me in a too small wheel chair down to our tiny room. I got to the hospital room and I stripped and got in the birthing tub. They put this floaty thing under my arms I could lean back into. My mom said I pretty much tipped my head back and snored really loud for about 3 min and then would sit up in pain and push. I had to get out to give some blood and start the pitocin. I didn’t notice but Bryce said the woman who came to take my blood was not comfortable with my nudity and was looking at everything but me the whole time.
Dr. Schwartz, an excellent back up doctor, pretty much let my midwives control everything, from the medicine to working with me. I was put on pitocin (only level 10 if that means anything to anyone, later when I was done they put it on 100 when I finished birth to help shrink my uterus.) We tried the birthing stool again and lying on my side with my leg in the air. The baby came down a little and was just inches away but would not crown. It was incredibly hard to have pushed so hard and then have breath so deeply in between pushes to help the babies heart rate stay great. He was doing so well for being in the canal so long. The doctors, nurses, family members all played various rolls in which all seemed like a blur. It was not until 5 pm at night, 39 hours after my first contraction that I had to make one more big decision that I hated. Vacumn extractor. Dr. Schwartz explained to me the device (which I thought would be electric or something, not a little hand squeezed suction cup) how he would still need me to push hard, how he still wouldn't use any pain medication, how it would hurt. I thought he used it all the way until the baby was out but Bryce said it was just twice to bring the head to crowning. I found this out when I asked Bryce "How was Dr. Schwartz able to hold my leg up at the same time he was pulling on the vacumn at the end." Bryce was like "He didn't, you pushed him out yourself." So after the crowning and the announcement of hair my midwives and such wanted to encourage me with touching the baby's head, but I was so angry inside that I didn't want to do anything of the sort. I just kept holding on to Amber and waiting for the next time to push. Bryce was moved down to my legs to catch the baby and in a couple more pushes out came a baby boy. He was immediately thrown on my chest and rubbed for breathing and circulation and started crying. Everyone was saying he so I asked if it was a boy and Karin, who was beside me, said yes.
Everything continued to be a frenzy. People clapped, my family suddenly disappeared to go out to eat (no one had eaten in a long time), the nurses tried to do their regular procedures (having me sign this waiver and that waiver for not getting all these tests done) while the midwives did theirs, Bryce was in tears beside me, I was still trying to decide if I was happy or not with a bloody crying baby on my chest. Brenda sang me a song. I just kept holding the baby who kept crying.
It was fun to see the medical staff and midwife staff interact with each other. Moira and Brenda were helping me deliver the placenta and protecting my umblical cord connection. Finally I saw Bryce cut the cord with one of their help and I realized I needed to give another big push so I did to deliver the placenta. I saw Brenda and Dr. Schwartz examining my placenta to show me the home of what the baby was in. I felt how thick the walls were that made the breaking of the water so hard. I also saw the calcium deposits from the placenta staying overdue in my uterus so long. They put it in the fridge for me to take home. The other two nurses were rubbing down my belly, which really hurt to get the uterus to contract. The nurses were Jane and later I found out her mother, whose name I can’t remember.
The midwives made there departure, Dr. Schwartz did as well, and Bryce went home with my parents to get clothes and stuff for the night and a car with a car seat in it. I was suddenly all alone in the room with the baby, still unweighed, still crying, still bloody. I think that was when I finally woke up and realized I was a done and a mom. Bryce seemed to take forever getting back tot he hospital but he came back with a car and a car seat and we spent the night there recovering. I was very weak, low iron and very faint. I was in so much pain vaginally I can hardly walk. They put in some videos on taking care of a baby and gave me food. I was starving but couldn’t eat much all at once. Link was really quiet. They finally took him to be weighed and he was 10 lbs 1.5 ounces, 22 inches long, and 15 cm diameter head. Later looking through paper work I also see they did his footprints and gave him a bath. Jane’s mom was the breastfeeding educator. She had me try all sorts of things including shields, sugar water feeding tube by the breast, etc and told me I had flat nipples. When I got home and Leslie came over she was able to throw all those things in the trash and have me start again. I am so happy I have Leslie.
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