Yesterday I was at the clinic from 10 am until 5 pm. So long that my doctor actually made me a sandwich, since I had fasted prior to coming in.
On Monday I had failed the diabetes test so yesterday I took the 3 hour test. I failed all of them as well.
I also had an ultrasound and found there definitely is only one little one in there and that baby is right on target with weight. But I do have a little bit extra fluid which may be why I am measuring big. They were not too concerned with it though.
Then I had diabetes counseling with a nurse to see how to test my blood and then I meet with a dietitian to see how to curb this issue with diet and exercise. I did learn a few things. I drink way too much milk. I didn't realize how much was a whole carb choice. She went through a whole days meal plan as a goal and it seriously was hardly different than my normal meal plan, besides milk.
So I decided (and my midwife agrees) I should go one step further. Eliminating most grains and I also am choosing very limited, if any, milk as well.
Well, it is working. Today I tested my blood at the required times and even after waiting after eating meals I was in the fasting range. So low that I called my midwife and asked if she thought the meter might be defective. She thought it might and had me test my blood at the same time on two different meters, but I got the same results. I hope this continues. If by just eliminating milk I could be done with diabetes, I would be so happy.
I have had a few crying spells over all this diabetes testing. For one thing my midwife said if I wasn't in range 75% of the time (probably in the last month or so) then I would not be able to deliver at home.
In all honesty if I gave birth at a hospital and it was like last time where my midwife was able to have a lot of say and was there the whole time, I would be totally fine. Especially if they didn't hook me up to anything and allowed me to move around and go home early and all that stuff that made my hospital birth with Link such a good experience. But that is not a guarantee. Not like the guarantee of doing a home birth with my chosen birth team and having all those wishes not only voiced, but cherished.
The other thing I would hate about not having a home birth is dealing with nay-sayers. I know that for some people me going to the hospital during my first home birth and still being a big home birth fan is inspiring to them, but to others it just seems ridiculous. And to have to face those people a second time would be hard for me. They make you feel so small for not believing what the modern majority is thinking.
And the third thing I struggle with is trusting my body. I've only gotten pregnant using medication, except for once and my body didn't carry that baby full term. So, I don't trust I can get pregnant on my own. I didn't start labor on my own. My body was totally fine with just carrying Link on and on until I took required herbs to induce. So, I don't trust my body to start labor. I never felt the urge to push and felt no difference in pushing Link out at the end of labor than I had in the beginning. So, I don't trust my body to know what to do in labor. And now I add to my list of body disappointments, but inability to control blood sugars.
So we shall see.
4 comments:
You can do it! I know how you feel about the diabetes thing. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with Mariah. I felt like I was already making the right food choices, so I didn't understand why I got put into that "diabetes" category and I felt like I failed. But you know what? It's just a pregnant thing that happens!! You know which food is "good" food and now you're just forced to actually think about it more!! Regardless of how the baby ends up arriving, just look at your awesome, adorable, i-wish-he-was-mine, son. You're about to get another one of those!! Two months left... we can do it! (Suddenly, I'm a cheerleader.... sorry, if you're annoyed.) Have a good weekend!
Thanks Cheri. I love having you around.
Yeah, I can relate to the diabetes thing. I actually only had that once, and it was with Bryce. Hang in there. Just having the knowledge of how to handle it helps a whole lot. And anytime you want to whine about it, just call me.
And I can relate to wondering if people think you are sane for not for wanting a home birth. We had issues, too, but just couldn't gear ourselves up for a trip to the hospital, even though things didn't work our perfectly the first time.
Yeah, I can relate to the diabetes thing. I actually only had that once, and it was with Bryce. Hang in there. Just having the knowledge of how to handle it helps a whole lot. And anytime you want to whine about it, just call me.
And I can relate to wondering if people think you are sane for not for wanting a home birth. We had issues, too, but just couldn't gear ourselves up for a trip to the hospital, even though things didn't work our perfectly the first time.
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