Bowl full of smelly jelly

I'm getting super disappointed about birth options. First of all I don't like any hospital I have interviewed. As far as midwifes I have loved talking to them on the phone but they are terrible at returning calls and e-mails. Maybe because they are super busy with babies, but geez, pregnant girls got worries.
There was a fabulous doula I meet with in Cedar Rapids. She was excited to hear I was doing a home birth and gave me the name of another midwife who I will call soon. She did inform me that lay midwifes are not legal in Iowa, which is confusing. I need to just go live in Wisconsin or Iowa for a month.
Another disappointing thing is I wanted to sign up for lamaze classes and such and everywhere I go they say I need to wait. I'm ready now and this pregnancy seems to be going really fast, but everyone says isn't moving at the same speed. It could be because there needs to be a build up of interested people before they have classes, being that our towns are not huge.
I am now at 12 weeks and should be having my first appointment with a midwife, but I haven't found one yet. On top of that I still think I might be turned out because of my weight. Everything I read says you need to be healthy to have a home birth. I consider myself healthy, I exercise daily, I am never sick (minus the baby sickness), and I eat healthy food, yet I carry every pound I eat on my body and that might be a problem. I'm not sure.
One positive thing is that I have not gained any weight yet. And with the baby only weighing 1/2 an ounce I shouldn't. Although sometimes the lack of weight makes me wonder if the little sprout is in there. I also wonder if I will have the nice rounded belly with the excess weight or if I will just look really fat.