Hey Mamas, I have a questions

I'm in week 10, I thought this was suppose to be going away, but maybe it is not morning sickness, maybe I can just feel my body too much. Does this feeling like some foreign object is growing inside you ever leave? I feel like I want to throw up all the time, even though I can't. My whole stomach just feels icky. I am ok for about an hour in the morning but soon after I am at work I get light headed so I grab a cracker or something, but then I feel yucky from the food. I feel like it is never going to leave?

New things about you

This week you are 1.5 inches. You are now a fetus ("Little one"). I think I will begin calling you little one today. Your tail is gone and your nose is here. Love you.

Meeting the Midwife

Last night the midwife I sought out called. She was able to answer a boatload of questions. I will have another appointment at Waterloo and if I don't have multiples or diabetes I am going to begin appointments with her. She is in Decorah and sounds very cool and experienced. She also gave me several video, book, and class recommendations.
She said Waukon is a friendly home birth hospital so if I want a place as an emergency option that is an excellent source.

Family Told

This weekend my mom's family got together, I guess for a late Thanksgiving or something. Anyway, John Giunta asked if I was pregnant and I had already committed to if anyone flat out asked me I would say yes so now my family knows. Bryce wanted to make sure his family knew as well so he called his parents, though he has yet to tell Joy and Kate. Actually he is doing it now. It is a lot easier now keeping the secret. It might not be so hard if my family wasn't around so much, but with the holidays I am seeing everyone.

I am realizing something as we tell people the news. Everyone thinks they know for some odd reason. Betsy said she knew because Bryce and I were holding hands in Kentucky. We always hold hands. I guess it is kind of like getting stuff not on your registry when you age married. You don't know what bothers you until after it has happened to you. I will stop saying that to people if they tell me. Though don't worry if you have.

More news on the homebirth

I talked with Ann Osmundson today. She had her 7th child at home near Elkader. She had a lot of helpful information. My main concerns with home birth are:

1. Is it legal- While internet is back and forth, the actual word of mouth is yes.

2. Am I too remote- Ann's midwife was from Cedar Rapids did not make it to her birth. I am 30 minutes away or more from any birthing center and the closest ones are not very reputable.

3. Where can I find a midwife and what about appointments- Cedar Rapids and Trish gave me an e-mail for one in Decorah. I do like my clinic in Waterloo however. Maybe I will do a few more appointments with them until I am sure.

There are several reasons why I want to do a home birth:

1. I don't want hardly anyone around, especially someone I hardly know.
2. I don't want to feel rushed or like I am doing something wrong
3. I want to deliver in whatever position feels comfortable
4. I want to have Bryce and I do the majority of everything
5. I think it is more natural

There are a lot more reasons, but I need to be sure I am doing what Bryce and I feel most comfortable with.

Bryce and I are saps

I'm not sure if you can open this or not but this video of a friend of mine made both Bryce and I tear up.

http://www.facebook.com/s.php?ref=search&init=q&q=aletha&sid=6df12a7344f2c92c631de98ede379535#/video/video.php?v=56639737056

Contradictions

So I'm feeling better but I don't like that either. When I'm sick I know your in there sucking my life away. When I'm not sure you are.
Tonight I got scared about money. I am stepping down from my position as editor because I am barely surviving the workload and demands alone I don't feel like I can do it at all when you get here. But if we want to stay home with you Bryce and I are going to have to be cutting back even more. So you will have your own costs but also your own time away from work costs. Wow, it gets expensive fast. But there are a lot of single parents who do it with 3-4 kids so we can do it with 1. In addition you are going to be so adorable I can hardly wait to spend all my time and money on you.
I'm still nervous about birthing. But again it a thing that is like, "if that woman can do it, I can do it."