Waiting for the Party

Whenever there is a party, a birthday party, a wedding, a halloween party, I don't want to do anything all day.  In fact I can hardly do anything but think about it.  I get ready to early, often have to plan my arrival so that I am not the first one there if I don't want to be.  The same goes with lots of other transitions in my life.  Yesterday I interviewed for a job as a chamber director, a job that I really want and would do well at.  I also have been accepted into AmeriCorps Vista, a job that I really want and would do well at.  I am weighing the possibilities of taking one over the other, but that is not what is stalling me from doing many other things.  I will do one of them and I will start in two weeks.  I have known this for three weeks now and I can't do anything.  It is a big change in my life.  A 40 hour work week after years of none.  Waking up to an alarm clock again.  Just like an upcoming party I just want it to start.  I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do small tasks in the house, I can't blog, I can't talk.  I walk in circles and wonder what I should be doing instead of doing anything.  I am a wreck.