Friday, October 1, 2010

Taking advantage

I don't consider myself passive, but I am probably on the lower end of assertiveness. I am looking for people who are on the upper end of assertiveness, almost aggressive, for some advice.
I hate that people take advantage of me.
Examples: I volunteer to be in charge of the fall festival. A neighbor says they would like to do an Avon table. I say that is an interesting idea. Neighbor tells everyone I "approved" the table and they all get mad at me.
I volunteer to call the winners of the raffle prizes for the same event. Older lady calls me wondering why I didn't call people. I tell her I did and I have a detailed account of who I left answering machine messages and who I spoke to personally. She mentions a person name, I look it up and see I left a message with them. She ends the phone call with "Well, she never got called."
I have someone I know going to photography school take our family photos. She sends them with a contract saying we can't edit them and we must order them from her. We had agreed otherwise prior to this, but whatever, I'll take it, she's probably taking what she is learning in school. I e-mail her back suggesting an order form and to think about a price for right to the photos. She comes back at me with the nastiest e-mail and I'm a paying customer.
I don't feel like I can't teach well because I get no respect from my students or other teachers. I feel like I can't work well with others because of the same thing. I once confronted someone below my position with "How about a little respect here?" His response, "Respect is earned, not given." WTF! Not in my book. And if that was the case, he did nothing to earn the respect I was giving him.
Is it the way I look, my body language, what?!?!
I'm getting super tired of having to be treated this way. At first I thought it was my age, but it's not. Is it that everyone is treated this way and I just don't have thick enough skin? So seriously, if you are out there and you have maybe been called a bitch a time or two or if you know people fear you just a little, please give me some tips.

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